Pastoral Counselling
Date
1998-02
Authors
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Journal ISSN
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Publisher
Tangaza University College
Abstract
One event has made me take a challenge of writing this essay. It was one evening
when a young man of about twenty years old came to visit us. Since his home was in the
area, I thought he would leave for his home. Well, as our custom is, we made him really
feel at home and after supper, that is around eight o'clock, he was not in a hurry to go back
home We accommodated him that night. It turned out to be a full week.
He tried to mention what his problems were, but we could not understand why he
did not want to go back home. It was after three days that we really came to know his
problem. His father had promised to take him for further studies abroad but after his exams,
his father changed his mind and refused to sponsor him. The young man was furious and
attempted to kill his father using a knife. The father was so threatened that he chased the
young man out of his home. A friend of the family took the boy and advised him to see a
counsellor When he came to us, he had been seeing the counsellor for weeks but there was no big change either on the young man's side or on his fathers. The sessions he underwent
with the professional counsellor seemed to have increased in him the feeling of rejection
and hate. This shows that the ground was not well prepared to begin this healing process.
Being welcomed and accepted, being received in warmth, sympathy and love begins our
growth as psychologically and physically healthy people.
The hospitality we extended to this young man, without too many questions
without judgement made him feel at home and hence accepted and it did not take him long
to open up. It was then, after three days that he chose one brother he was comfortable with
to lead him into the pastoral counselling process.
To make the long story short, the boy re-united with his parents and as I write, he is
in the United States studying with the blessings of his father. This story has motivated me
to make a critique of hospitality as the basis for pastoral counselling in the African setting.
But what is counselling? Roger Harding defines it as; "the ctivity which aims to
help people towards constructive change in any or even aspect of life through caring
relationship, which has agreed boundaries. "2 According to this definition, counselling can
cover a spectrum from befriending and listening through to a psychotherapy, but a
counsellor is generally thought as someone in the middle of this spectrum, who is skilled in
listening and helping.
The term "Pastoral counselling" tends to be understood to mean mainly the work of pastors,
priests and other church workers in their day today interaction with their parishioners or
congregations. Pastoral counselling therefore may be understood as that type of counselling which seeks to physically, emotionally and spiritually nurture persons with the acceptance,
compassion, care and love of a shepherd to his flock. Unlike other helping professions as
psychology and psychotherapy, pastoral counselling has the explicit goal of spiritual growth. It
is distinguished from secular counselling in that it is rooted in the ministries of the Word and
Sacraments.'
Pastoral counselling is becoming more and more important in the contemporary
African societies mainly because modem life has lost most of the values, including the value
of hospitality. This has made the society become so stressful and lonely. The traditional
African society with its more communal support systems is gradually disappearing and in
some urban areas of Africa it has almost disappeared. In many African countries where war
has left many children orphaned, adults dispossessed and widowed, whole tribes in deeper
usual suspicion and hatred and there the value of life is increasingly cheapened and basic
rights denied, the Church must play the role of consolation, care and nurturance in most
parts of our continent.
To do this effectively one needs to be hospitable. Hospitality according to the
Readers Digest Great Encyclopaedia Dictionary says that it is that spirit, practice or act of
behaving in a kind and generous manner towards guests. In the African society, hospitality
means to make people feel at home. This came naturally. It was welcoming and showing
kindness to anybody which brought a feeling that these guests around me are my kind of
people, I am not afraid of them, I am comfortable with them.
Both pastoral counselling and hospitality link, therefore in kindness and
approachability. Kindness and approachability are two ingredients required for successful pastoral service and a recapture of this important value of hospitality. Hospitality was
considered as a sacred duty. In the New Testament, hospitality is a charism from heaven,
assimilates man to angels and was recommended by Christ. However its practice was not
without limitation since Christ himself drew up rules for the Apostles (Mt. 10:9-14) and
Disciples (Lk 10:5-11) in accepting hospitality.
I have divided this work in five chapters. In chapter one, I will treat some topics in
the African society, especially the areas that have affected the traditional African family. In
chapter two, I will look at hospitality in the traditional African setting, in the Bible and as it
is today. In chapter three I will focus on pastoral counselling as it affects the African
Christian. In chapter four I will look at Pastoral hospitality; and in chapter five, I will
propose a beacon of hope, which would be a centre that will provide the context for
spiritual and psychological healing to take place. I do hope that this will be a great
contribution to the needs of the local Church here in Kenya and Africa at large.
Description
Keywords
Concept of family, African Society, Hospitality, Health and Sickness, Western Influence in Particular, Community On Hospitality