Youths and Contemporary Sexual Issues Premarital Sex as a Pastoral Challenge for Mission Today
Date
2005
Authors
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Publisher
Tangaza University College
Abstract
Part of my missionary training took me to the Archdiocese of Lagos in Nigeria
where I had a year of pastoral experience at St. Joseph parish situated in Gowon Estate,
Ipaja in Lagos. There, I had the opportunity to work with youth groups of the parish
namely: the Catholic Youth Organization, the Altar Servers, Block Rosary Crusade,
Boys Brigade, the Vocation Guild, St. Mary's Choir, Junior Presidia of the Legion of
Mary and Christ Ambassadors. It was an exiting pastoral work for me considering the
fact that though a seminarian, I was also a youth among these young people. As they
see me for being one of them they became very close to me and were able to share
openly with me their personal problems and issues concerning their interpersonal
relationships. Apart from what these young men and women shared with me my own
observation and interaction with them confirm the following: as these youths interact on
daily basis during choir practice, prayer meetings, liturgical rehearsals and games they
quickly build among themselves cross sex friendships. But unfortunately their
friendships often proved to be genital relationships. I often observed that this sometimes
results into fights between two young men over a young woman or a breaking out of
fight of two young women over a young man. From this observation, I understood that
this issue is beyond a simple friendship. It must have something especial that needs
more attention and investigation.
Hence, I took my time to interrogate some of the youths and this is what one of
them told me:
Another youth confessed to me that she had three boyfriends and she loved them all.
She shamelessly said that she was able to manage them without their knowledge; each
of them has a day when they meet and hang out. Another one told me that in order to
prove your manhood, you need to have more than one girlfriend.
Putting together all that I observed and all that I heard from the youths
themselves, I can pinpoint an ever-growing pastoral problem among youths. They
indulge themselves in premarital sex in all its forms from petting to kissing up to sexual
intercourse. They themselves acknowledge it as one of them put it: "If you don't do it
f i.e. if you don't have sexual intercourse] your friends will say you are not a full human
being."2 The sad reality is that youths take it for granted that there is no wrong in
making love with one another. I find this situation lamentable; but just to lament will
never change anything. Only strong pastoral measures can pave the way for correct and
dignified sexual life of our Christian youths
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Keywords
Contemporary Sexual Issues Premarital Sex as a Pastoral Challenge for Mission Today